VENTING

alright so i'm sick and tired of people judging me all the time about things they don't know sh** about!!!

some of you already know this, but i really really really really want to be in special forces, but i'm not allowed. as a women, i am not permited to be in this area of the military, or infantry for that matter.

when ever i tell people about this, they try calling me an extreme, left winged, femnist.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO INSULT ME GET IT RIGHT

first of all, i am no where near an extreme democrat. i'm moderate, very very moderate. second of all, i am definately not a femnist. i could not give a rats a** about women's rights. women have rights, we just don't use them like we should.

everyone gets it wrong. its not about women's rights, its about human rights. its just like when black people weren't allowed to fight because of the stupid made up reasons like "black people can't see at night" or "blacks can't swim." its all pure bullsh**. its never about women's rights, black rights, men's rights, or white's rights. its about human rights. we all just fight for human rights in groups (black, women, white, asian). in the end, every group fights for the same thing, we just have to fight against OTHER groups to get it, and sometimes even fight our own group.

with all this fighting, its no wonder we get put into groups. we fight because we seperate ourselves from eachother, and we seperate ourselves from each other because we fight.

i don't want women's rights, i want my human rights. my human right to any position in the military that i want. if i can measure up to the standards, and even go higher than the standards, then why stop me? would you stop me if i was black? white? man or woman? what if i didn't act the way you wanted? what if i was different? what if i didn't fit it? would you stop me then?

sorry, i dont know who i am writing to, i'm just venting. i can't keep it in all the time. sometimes it just pours out. all were rhetorical questions, don't feel obligated to answer.

Become a Canadian citizen and if you cut it you can be in their Special Forces.
It is interesting to note that a country which seems so desperate for soldiers would deny such a large group.

yea i know. especially denying it to someone who wants to do it as much as i do. i never met a person man or woman who wants it more than me. the thing about canada is the reason they let women in their special forces is because they are rarely in a war. everything they do is about 90% safer.

Not true Canada has a significantly higher rate of combat deployment than people realise. Just because as a country we don't go into war doesn't mean we don't take part in other wars. Just because Canada is best known for peace keeping doesn't mean that it is any safer conditions, men and women still enter combat zones and risk death at all times while there. The reason women are allowed in the Special Forces is because women are allowed into any facet of the military that they are capable of

sorry i wasn't saying that they didn't deploy or anything. i didn't mean to come across that way. but they don't deploy nearly as much as alot of other countries do. its just a fact. thats the reason we need more people, we keep sending them. all of them. my point was that i want to be deployed alot. and by alot i mean constantly. and in special forces that doesn't always happen. just because you make the training doesnt mean you will be deployed alot. my chances are better here. not to mention i sort of grew up in this country...despite its screw ups.......

Currently you have no chance of deployment. It's kind of a sick attitude though to want to be at war a lot. There is more to war than fighting anyway. Well no matter if this war keeps up they will have to let women in because there will be no one left.

great so now i'm just a war hungry back-up. that makes me feel nice and cozy inside. and the reason i want to be deployed is because if i am that means i can save someone else with a family the pain of having to do it. and i'm sorry but i refuse to wait until there are no other choices for our country to be let in special forces. there is no first for anything until someone does it, so i guess all i have to do is create a first.

quote:

---

great so now i'm just a war hungry back-up

---

Are you? I'm just questioning your motives.

quote:

---

if i am that means i can save someone else with a family the pain of having to do it

---

It is noble to want to save someone else with a family from having to do it but your government is also saving someone else with a family from having to do it. In fact they are saving a lot of someones with families.

But do what you must because nothing happens if no one does it. But whatever you do make sure you know why you do it.

[But whatever you do make sure you know why you do it.]

i know why i want to do it, i don't need people to question that. you don't have to understand why i want to do it, because i know you never will. i just would like someone to step back and push aside the fact that they don't understand my motives and just see that i can do it, and if i can do it, and i want to do it, why are people so against that? its illogical. no worries, things are soon to change

I'm not against it I think that any qualified person should have access to whatever career they choose. But an important factor when selecting soldiers is motive because an army should not want psychotic killers for example. I have every right to question your motives just as you hold the right to not answer. I am just curious about the things that drive people it's somewhat of a hobby.

the problem is when i tell people why i want to do this, it makes me sound insane. not in a creepy killer way, its not that i am doing this so i can kill people.

its just that i can't even explain it. you know that feeling you get when you are about to go on a roller coaster? that rush of fear, excitment, and adrenaline that hits all at the same time. right before you go down the biggest hill you realize that you could potentially die if this roller coaster breaks at all, thats the fear. the excitment is that you are holding your own life at the top of this hill. if you wanted to you could end it all and that after you get down this hill there are going to be many more hills and turns and they will all be thrilling. the adrenaline is everything in your body reacting to thoughts crossing your mind about death and life and hills and turns. but at the end of the roller coaster you feel a kind of high. a high that makes you feel really happy like you could carry the world and everyone you love on your shoulders.

i know that to most people this seems extreme, especially to those who hate roller coasters. lol. but if everyone liked and understood them, then it wouldn't be as wonderful now would it? this is how i feel about special forces. i don't know why, i don't know how. all i know is that i can do it, i want to do it, and i will do it. there is nothing i want more in this life. nothing more i could ask for.

thats only part of it. it isnt only about how it makes me feel. every night i dream of people dying all over the world and how i can't help them. everyday i watch the news i read the papers i listen to the prayers and know that i have it so much better than i deserve. i don't want to kill, i don't want to hurt. but if me hurting and killing someone to help someone else is what it takes then fine. i won't sit back and watch another person die. my worst fear is watching a helpless person and not helping them. it freezes the deepest part of my bones and burns the most needed part of my mind.

like i said, makes me sound insane? at least i am telling the truth. at least i can be me

No actually I don't think it makes you sound insane at all. In fact you are probably more sane than a lot of people that I know.

oh well then the world is surely going to end sooner than i originally anticipated if i am concidered sane. lol. but thank you

you sound pretty sane yourself