Any Help at all...

Okay let me give you a little knowledge on the situation. There is this girl i have been seeing for a while, and i thought that she was the one. I told her i loved her because i really felt like i did. She told me she loved me as well, but in the back of my mind there was always that little voice saying "No she doesnt". But then theres that little voice that says "Yes she does, otherwise she wouldnt spend time and talk and tell things with you". But thats all just little parts to my story. Anyways, like i said, i've been seeing here for a while, on and off as "BoyFriend and GirlFriend". Well last time that we "Broke up" she said to me "Lets just be friends for a while". As my friends and siblings have taught me, that is the Kiss-of-Death right there. That if soemone says that, it means there is no hope. I dont know if thats true but i beleive it is. Well anyways, she used to call me a real lot, and i used to call her sometimes (she knows i hate calling people first). We'd talk for at least 90 minutes on the phone every day. It progressed that way for about a month, but then all of a sudden, she just stopped calling. There was silence between us both for about 9 days.. Now, i would have called her inbetween those days, but i didnt feel like i wanted to talk to her on the phone (perhaps i am losing interest in her?). Yesterday she tells me she is mad at me, but its for little stupid things. I defend myself like any other person would that gets verbally attacked, and we just forget about it and start talking like normal. During this conversation, i realise that i really do like her still (i thought i was over her or losing interest really really fast). I dont know what it was, but it was just something within that conversation that made something click and said "Shes cool again". At the end of the conversation, i was SO close to saying "I love you" but decided not to since we were just in a fight and i said some things, she said some things (and that it was a little early to say those 3 magical words), and on and on. Now that it is after our conversation on the phone, i feel like i am losing interest in her again. It is really very very confusing. Its like, i know in my head that she is a really big part of me now (Since whenever the phone rings, i must be the first to answer it, in hopes of her being the one on the other line. Only to be let down by it being another friend. And other such details like that.) Shes leaving to go out of state in a couple of weeks, and now i think that while she is down there, she will find another person and do something but only for those few days. It hurts really bad, even though we are not "Going out" i still feel that there will always be that little thing between me and here. But that goes back to the "lets just be friends for a while" thing about it being the kiss-of-death. That makes me thnik that it wont ever happen, and all these glorious plans i am thinking in my head of what it will be like again soon are all just thoughts and useless. I dont want to just keep on playing that role of me being the jackass and thinking it is good, whereas in reality any person from the outside can see that i am being played as a fool or that i am being a hound dog and just following her blindly. I guess you could say i am blinded. I think of it as I set up this certain someone to be perfect and so in my mind, she can do no wrong. I've tried laying down thinking about it for hours, but it only leads to more suspicion and more curiousness about her feelings towards me. Every time i try to confront her about things, i get terydactals YES TERYDACTALS, not butterflys, but i get those inside my stomach and am too uncertain and not ready to know the truth about the situation. I guess i am insecure about things, but i already know taht and it doesnt help knowing my faults.
I write this in hopes of you people giving me some advice and stuff about my situation. Perhaps one of you has been in the same situation, or have experience with things like this. Thank you for all and any help at all.

seriously ive been in your situation. you have to realize that absolutely nobody is perfect. she has all kinds of faults and some of them you are going to hate. what you have to decide is how vulnerable you can allow yourself to be in front of her. if you decide shes worth it and go after her you will become very vulnerable and could possibly face hardcore rejection, which honestly isnt as terrible as it seems right now. the alternative of simply dancing around subjects and never really knowing where the relationship is going will be much more devastating to your ego and self esteem later on.

lay your ass on the line immediatly if shes worth it. otherwise move on.

i totally agree with wyote.....you need to take the risk to get the reward.....talk to her, if she doesnt want to get back with you though, and you still want to be with her, you should probably stay away from her for a while, or your going to end up getting hurt.....good luck