guy trouble....

alright so i've been having trouble with this guy. i know he likes me and i definately like him. and i mean i like him ALOT. he's like the kind of guy that never gets mad at ANYTHING. the only time i see him slightly annoyed is when i am paying attention to my best friend who happens to be a guy too and even then he never gets angry. the point is, i am absolutely crazy about him. and i can definately tell he is interested in me. we are in high school, and every time he sees me walking around after school he comes up and talks to me and even if he is about to go home, instead he will stay and talk with me until i am ready to go, then he offers to give me a ride home. everyone knows we like each other, and we are pretty close. but this has been going on for about a month and a half now, we havent kissed, he hasnt asked me out, and absolutely nothing is changing except that i like him more and more everytime i am with him. i would ask him out, but every time i am about to i think "well what if he just isn't ready?" so i close my mouth and never ask him. i know he is a shy guy, but i also know he likes me just as i like him. what should i do?

go after him. tell him how you feel. if you dont do it now, you might regret it later.

your 25 and still in high school???

anyway besdie the point when your just walking chatting about some crap or other wait till he is close to some staitionary object and then push him against and have your way with him...

being caught of gard is the best...and then he will no your intentions???

I know this may sound a bit strange to a youngin, but here's what I think you should do.

Keep in touch wih him, be his friend. When you leave school, don't let distance water down your friendship.

Then, once you have a good job, or even a career, you own your own house, or at least are paying off a small mortgage on it, and you've sorted out anything about yourself you aren't currently happy with... THEN ask him out.

Dating is a waste of time, because the REAL good guys will wait if you tell them to, and the a**holes will get bored and start chasing someone else. So why put yourself through torment and heart ache by dating guys who only want you for a little while?

Tell him you like him, and tell him that if he likes you, wait. If he's a real man. A solid partner. He won't mind waiting a few decades until you're ready... or, he could just show him true colours as a guy who just wants a pretty girl for a little while to make him feel better about himself.

one day when your hanging out just tell him you like him and want to be with him...ask him what he thinks.....or do what fairy said and just kiss him...although that takes way more balls than just telling him you like him

xana......a couple years is a long time to wait to go out with someone......i dont think many boys....remember, they're in high school would wait that long just to date someone....that seems a bit drastic to me

rancid, so you're saying it's better to date someone who is impatient, and after a quick fix, rather than waiting to find that ONE person who deserves you?

Tell me, how many people do you know that have only recieved pain from break ups? I've never met anyone who doesn't feel used when the 'love of their lives' decides that they want someone else. I believe that dating is completely unnessisary for anyone who is not ready to settle down.

How can you have a serious relationship with someone who doesn't even know who they are or what they want yet? How can you date when YOU don't know the answer to this either?

xana....you seem sort of tainted, like maybe you were in love with someone and invested a lot in the relationship and they left you....im not trieing to be mean, thats just how it seems to me......to me love is a risk no matter when you take it....you could always get hurt, but usually it's worth the risk, dont get me wrong i've been hurt too....i was with a boy that i was very in love with, we were together for 2 years,we lived together,and one time he decide to sleep with his ex at a party,i left him, even though it killed me....loosing him broke my heart, but i got over it in time, now im glad i had the experience....im now with someone i love very much who equally loves me, and who knows, maybe we'll break up and i'll get hurt again, but this is life, and life would be empty without love,pain,happiness,saddness and risk........about thios young girl.....she should take a chance on this boy,she seems to really like him....and dateing is how you find the perfect person for yourself...you dont have to give youir heart to someone just because you went out a couple times....xana why are you so scared?

It's quite simple rancid. I'm not scared. I just see no point in dating the way these youngins mean.

I have at least 5 women on my list of possibles. I treat each of them as a guy would his girl, except, of course, no sex.

At any time, these girls are free to see someone else, if they do, my list gets shorter. I'm okay with that. They all know each other. They all know that I'm interested in them, and that each of them is interested in me.

But my life is not one for a relationship yet. I'm not finacially secure, my body isn't yet up to scratch, and I'm still trying to discover who I really am.

Plus, at any time, these girls might see a behaviour developing in me that they don't like. I'm sure they'd appreciate the fact the they hadn't given themselves to me, only to discover this trait later on.

I see it as waiting to offer the finished product. At least then, the girls know what they're getting, and I would have known them long enough to know what I'm in for.

I'd rather live without true love for the rest of my life, than go running to people who offer false love... case and point... If that chap of 2 years had even the slightest incling of real love for you, he wouldn't have slept with the ex, and if you had known him for two decades in the way my ladies know me, then you probably would have seen that behaviour before dating him.

But don't let me tell you that the way you're doing things is wrong. Because I still crave for those days long gone, when I could seriously believe that I was in love with someone I just met.

i agree xana. dating is a complete waste of time unless you and your partner are in a good solid place. its a different game when youre in high school though. those relationships are basically practice (sure it works out sometimes and thats great, but its rare). its a shame so many kids have sex at such an early age though. they grow up with all kinds of scewed views about relationships.

dateing...not having sex....is important when your young,it prepares you for adult relationships...and xana....i dont fall in love with peole i just meet....i've been with my current guy for over 2 years, so i can say that i know him pretty well,and it took some time for me to say that i really loved him....you guys out there who see no point in dateing...dont you miss out if you dont date...i think those first months of dateing are exciting and fun, you begin to learn things about the person,and yeah, sometimes it doesnt work,and sometimes you get hurt....but, i still say it's worth it

Oh, I date. But when I do it, it's part of my courtship ritual. Please understand, you are quite free to do anything you want concerning dating. I just do things in a different fashion.

Relationship are paramount to building healthy, well rounded adults. Unfortunately, modern day relationships do little to boost self esteem in a lot of people. First we must learn how to live with the opposite sex(or same for those of us that way inclined), in a completely plutonic fashion. But I know that even for a guy like me, with the ideals I hold now, in my younger years, I only dated girls I found attractive, the ones I wanted to touch, and kiss... and possibly lay.

There is no need for an intense relationship in these formative years. But because we have this inbuilt longing to be needed and accepted, a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship looks SO tempting.

I'm yet to see a single shred of evidence that points to a direct coalation between failed early relationships, and successful later relationships.

Most guys I know, still treat their girls the way they did in high school. They do this because girls keep going for them. If they had to be mature and responsible around a girl they liked for many years before even being viewed as acceptable by the girl, all these heart breakers would soon enough have to grow up, or stay single.

But in this current environment, I find it easier to grow up BY staying single.

Just my views, laugh if you will. But I'm happy with how things are going for me.

im not laughing and im happy that being single is helping you grow as a person, for me, it's the other way around....my boyfriend,who i've been with for a little over 2 years has really helpped me grow as a person, he's helped me to overcome some things that i might not have done so well with on my own.....we just share different opinions....and by the way, im sorry, i assumed you were a girl from your screen name...so sorry if i made referances to you as if you were a woman

I think everyone here is making good points. The thing to remember about advice though, is that its all based on personal experience. Forgive me if I sound obvious, sappy, or offensive, but no one but you can know your own heart. All anyone else can do is try to offer a different perspective. If you know what you want, go for it. If not, take the time to examine your feelings first. As for my own opinion, I don't think theres anything wrong or unfulfilling about friendships or platonic relationships, but don't make that decision based on fear of hurt or rejection. Xana, I applaud you for making decisions of the heart based on personal morality, rather than societal expectation or fear of loss. But I also agree with rancid, love is a risk, but only if you take it. You mentioned that you thought the guy liked you. Jean Anouilh said "Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself." Its possible he's in the same dilemma as you, afraid to make the first move. As far as practical advice goes, if you decide to go for it: you can either do it all at once, eg fairy boy's 'wall' method. Or you can try to warm it up slowly and see how he responds. I've found a god method is gradually increasing physical contact, eg dance with him at any opportunity, roughhousing, cuddle while watching movies, etc. As a guy I'm partial to the wall method. Can be very sexy.