An Article on addiction, gay men and grief
The Possibilities of Pleasure: Why I Feel Like Getting High Tonight
by Max Gordon
April 12, 2005
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Several weeks before she died, my mother and I had a conversation.
I was standing in her kitchen cooking dinner, which I burned because I was flustered. She was sitting in her wheelchair with a purple shawl around her shoulders. It was April, and there had been a chill in the house. I couldn't remember how our conversation had begun that day, but since they all ended up at the same place, it didn't matter.
'Give yourself some time to figure things out,' she begged. 'How do you know what you want? You're still a child in so many ways, Maxie. You shouldn't give yourself a label until you are absolutely sure what it means. You'll regret it later. And you definitely shouldn't run around telling the whole wide world about this thing.'
'I'm sure I'm gay, Mom,' I said.
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