How do i cope with the death of a loved one

I've never lost anyone in my family but to day my uncle toni was taken from me by one bullet. I don't know how to deal with this I can't hold any more I'm tearing at the edges. I can't deal with it anymore I kept too much built up. My parents going splitsvile and moving within 2 years. how did some of you deal.

My aunt died and my grandpa died in the same year. My aunt because of a heart attack and my grandpa because of a stroke, and to make it worse, I couldn't go to their funerals. I didn't think about it much, or I try not to. Do something productive that keeps your mind and self busy, but nothing like drugs or drinking because it doesn't help at all so don't even bother. It's ok to feel sad about it. I dunno if guys are into this, but you should talk about it to someone. Like the thing about your parents, which I'm so sorry to hear about. I know it sounds stupid, like talking to a counsellor, but I actually tried it and it helps. So try doing things that could keep you busy, and just let it out to people you trust. It won't help it go away, but it could help you deal with it.

Dj, I greave for your loss, and my heart goes out to you. How one deals with the loss of a loved one, is as individual as the mourner.

When I think past on my grandparents, who were very close to me, I remember the good times we shared. My Gran baking me cookies, or telling me one of her favorite jokes. Or us just sitting on the porch of her summer cottage in the Adirondacks, watching the evening fall in companionable quiet, while she worked on some sewing. Or my grandfather and I working on their house, while he passed on tall tales of his logging and fishing days, or family stories told at the supper table. Or how he would have me 'help' him work on his cars, or servicing his outboard. Or what an outrageous flirt he was, making passes at the nurses from his deathbed, hours before he went to sleep for the last time.

It is difficult, during the throes of mourning, to think of the good times, the happy hours spent with a loved one. Even the horrible times are difficult to remember in the face of loss. Time does not heal all wounds, but it will dull them. My advice, is to think back on those good times with your Uncle Toni, and laugh your ass off.

the people we love will always remain in our minds and our hearts. hold on to the memories you have, they can never be taken away.

I am very sorry, to hear of your recent loss. I too recently lost a friend of mine...about 4 months ago. His name was JP Molenda....he died in a motorcycle accident, he was the rider. He struck a family that was j-walking across a busy road. Instantly killing the father of the family, and himself, when he hit the pavement. He was a good friend, a very honest friend, would give the shirt off his back to anyone, even if he didnt know you. I dealt with it in different ways, at times Id cry, at others Id remember the good times we had playing soccer for Cascade High School together. For me, before his death, I was already dealing with the death of another friend, who got hit by a boat while being pulled behind another boat in an intertube. Crushed his sternum, his lungs, and both his legs. I went to the hospital to see him, the next day, and I could only stay for about 5 minutes. I went in, looked at his unconcious (spelling?) body... and left. Later that day he died. I was in shock. I closed everyone out. I even quit my job. Something hit me. How life can be taken from you in a second. We really do need to appreciate life, and every little thing. The smile someone gives you, every breath we really do take. People deal with it in different ways, its just a matter of finding a way that works for you. I've found that mourning a death for a while is okay, but there comes a time, when its time to move on. Its time to remember the good times you had, and be happy for what was shared, while the time lasted. I quote 2pac ".....last year, we poured out liquor for ya, but this year, life goes on, Kato and Mental, rest in peace.". Life goes on. But never forget that person.