child abuse

child abuse is a big thing for me esp with my best friend and cousin being abused by her dad n the fucker isn't in prison and they keep rescheduling the court hearing and its been almost a year since the charges were brought up
but here's a good debate do you think that beating your child is givin em a whippen when they've done some thing wrong or do you think of it as throwin em around and leavin welts and bruises on them ?

I hear ya.

I have 2 kids .. aged 7 and aged 3. I have never raised my hand to them, and they are better behaved than some other children who are disciplined with a smack.

I get criticised for not smacking my children. This angers me. How can I teach them to be respectful and decent to others while smacking them around?

I choose not to smack. I do not tell others not to smack, therefore others shouldn't try to tell me to smack. How my husband and I raise our children is our decision, and nobody is right to say that they are undisciplined just because we do not use violence. There are hundreds of other methods of disciplining a child.

My children know that if they misbehave, then they will be disciplined. I use "time out", I take toys away. I switch TV/computer/Games off. I send them to their room. I don't let them out to play. There are many, many ways. Violence against a child is unacceptable. In society it is not acceptable to pick on someone weaker, so how come it is still acceptable to hit a child just because you are the child's parent/guardian?

OMG, I could go on and on with this subject. But, please let me make it clear that I KNOW that there is a big difference between a parent smacking a child's bottom for a wrong-doing and a person beating the crap out of a child. I am not saying that those in the former category are "abusing" their children. It is just my opinion that there are other ways, and it is beneficial to the child and the parent if the time is taken to consider the alternatives to smacking.

I will stop now, because I am beginning to preach.

lol i can agree with that but when i was young i was kicked across the driveway which was about 6 feet wide cuz i tried to help work on a car n i guess i did more gettin on dad's nerves than helping i got welt on my hiney for beatin up my nieghbor cuz he was pickin on my little brother and his mom didn't do nething and they couldn't take away the tv n radio and send me to my room cuz i had a tv in my room i got time outs but only after i got my butt whooped or my mouth rinsed out with soap for repeatin somethin my dad said and i turned out a good kid i was in the national honor society in highschool i even got accepted in it early and i graduated 9 out of 123 never really caused as much problems as my little brother did and he was hardly ever punished my dad just screamed at him alot and my mom was always at work so he got out easy and he's already been thrown out of school about 12 times he dropped out and he's been picked up for stealing more than once smiking and drinking underage and shootin a 12 ur old repeatedly with a bb gun wonder what you'd do with him lol my mom has tried takin his stuff away and he'd just tear up the house (he took a hatchet to the side of our trailor and our porch steps) she sent him to his room for a time out and he snuck out the window she's even taken his tv and radio and he'd leave through his window n go to our nieghbors n play video games with them or my dad would give him back what ever my mom would take away or he'd go buy him a new gun or a pocket knife or a four wheeler i'd have to baby sit him n he threatened me with a big kitchen knife once and so i threw him into our gas stove i'm small but i'm tough and no 16 yr old should have to watch a 15 yr old esp one that acts like that

not that ur method is wrong if it works for your kids thats wonderful i'm glad some one could make it work but then again i grew up under completely different circumstances and my grandpa always tells me spare the rod spoil the child

[quote]lol i can agree with that but when i was young i was kicked across the driveway which was about 6 feet wide cuz i tried to help work on a car n i guess i did more gettin on dad's nerves than helping [quote]

I'm sitting here biting my tongue because I'm not sure how much I should comment on your above quote.

So, in advance, I'm sorry if I offend you in anyway. My opinions are not facts.

I have never known a love, like the love I have for my daughters. When my daughters hurt, I feel an immense pain. From the day they were born, I vowed never to spank them. I just can't justify causing pain to someone I love so much. On the other hand, I think they (daughters) would have more respect had I smacked their butt every now and then.

When I was a child, I was spanked hard. Spanking doesn't mean a parent doesn't love their child. I have no doubt that my parents love me, as much I love them. It's just not my principles for discipline.

For you to fly 6 feet from a kick is damn wrong. If I may continue to be so blunt, I would have kicked your father in the gonads had I saw him. I'm sorry. I'll wager to say that he was hurting more than you, afterwards. As, he should.

You sound like a wonderful young lady. Both your parents and YOU should be proud.

yeah i went in the house n told my mom ...believe me he hurt more than i did after words but ne ways i have good news my cousin linda went to trial today and her dad was finally found guilty he's gettin 500 dollar fine up to a year in jail and he has to pay court cost and jury fee cuz he fucked everything up
he was supposed to be tried as a felon but he agreed on the plea bargain and after all the paper work was brought down to a misdemenor he backed out on it so now he's not completely gettin what he deserved but linda is finally gettin some justice and peace in her life

I don't think there is anything wrong with spanking a child, and yes I was spanked. In my opinion it should be saved for if other punishments don't work, if time outs or taking things away don't work for example. In my mind there is a big difference between spanking and beating though. A slap on the butt is ok, a punch to the head is another matter. Also parents shouldn't just slap kids instead of trying other punishments. Many parents are simply lazy and would rather slap thier kid instead of bothering to take the time to punish them in another way, and quite frankly I don't think those people should have kids.