Some Words of Wisdom from CU's favorite bowtie organic chemistry professor. It's a kick to sit in his lectures and listen to the way he turns the subject into an unreal state of complete nonsense. Probably the best organic chem professor I've come across.
Words of wisdom from the Barney:
"If you can't do this [organic chemistry], you're done. Go work at Denny's or Krispy Kreme Doughnut or something."
"This course feels like trying to drink from a fire hydrant."
"We're in an atmosphere, right?"
"R is anything: methyl, ethyl, your mom..."
"It was discovered by some German in 18-something-or-other."
"When an electron hits these guys, it's like those rednecks shooting ducks at the carnival."
"It turns out that when God made the Earth, he made C-13 isotopes."
"So let's say Dick Cheney wants a mass spec because al Qaeda or Oklahoma gunmen poisoned people at this restaurant."
"Imagine you're in a bar with an Uzi."
"Let's say you take a screwdriver and you gauge out your photoreceptors."
"The p-orbitals of benzene hold each other in a loving Christian embrace."
"This acid is so strong that if you threw a puppy dog in there, you'd pull out nothing but bones."
"I dunno why you guys are bored. With this shit you can make better drugs than Danny Glover."
"Then suddenly this oxygen rushes in and everybody's happy and Christian and singing."
"It's cold as a beagle's nose there [in space]."
"When you go to a burning nuclear holocaust..."
"Tonight, go home and, in the privacy of the bathroom, make one of these plastic models."
New Material (2/28/2005):
"My brother, he's a pediatrician, and Christ, you guys fuckin' need to know this!"
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39yrs • F • 
