What should i do?

please help me i know this is kinda long but im DESPERATE!
im in along distance relationship with my bf - he's at uni and i havnt seen him in six weeks - i won't see him for another three. He won't let me visit him + im finding it so so hard. I miss him so much it hurts. I need someone there 2 reasure me, give me attension, support and love me.
Latley a friend of mine has been doing just that and we always flirt and tlk sausily. whenever we're drunk and together we kiss.
I went to a party the other night and got seriously drunk and a boy took advantage of that and was kissing me and i didnt stop him cause i was convinced he was my boyfriend. I realised he wasn't (obviously) and got away...but then a really cute guy gave me a ciggerette (i've started casual smoking since bf left) and we got talking a lot and ended up kissing and this time i didnt stop it.
My friend stopped me this time + she knows about kissing cute guy but nbot about 1st guy or about my mate i've been flirting with. OMG, please help me - i feel like such a slag! im just SO messed up right now - i don't now what to do!!! Any advice would be very much apreciated xxxx

I found the perfect guy who does that though, my boyfriend. At least he does when he's at home + when we get a chance to talk.

He won't tell me why i can't visit - theres alway an exscuse.
- we've had loads of talks about i and he somehow doesn't answer my question. I just end up getting upset about it.
I really wanna be a strong person, i appear to be on the outside, but for some reason im still weak inside.

Alcohol is kind of my escape from my problems and, well, u probably know what happns 2 ur when ur drunk and what it does to your thoughts and stuff.

I don't wanna become a whore.Thats not who i am, honestly. Im a googdy goody with a whild streak.

whats a girl to do??

Your relationship isn't going to last.
I know I sound like a bitch, but if you really sit down and think about how much this guy is going to change as a result of attending college and what he'll be like in ten years - and where you're going, just think carefully.

Especially if you two are already having problems with communication and that you find solace in alcohol as a direct result of him not being there or not letting you visit him at certain times, I really think that you should just weigh out the pros and cons of this entire situation. If he's really supposed to make you happy - why are you supposedly the most better off when you're drunk?

Are you sure this is really a love or you are just scared of being alone? I've already had to sit my cousin through this - his girlfriend lives on the other side of the world and he sees her maybe twice a year, and the rest of the year he makes himself sick over physically missing her. The rest of the time, they fight like cats or really go find other people that would understand them because they can't give each other that sort of relationship.

Especially since he's off at college, and as always, the big thing around here is that guys hate the idea of being chained down to a single girl - and actually, most undergrads don't get into serious dating because of it. If they're that serious, well at least the ones I've met, they're already married and done with their partying scenes.

So just ask yourself Juliet,
Am I afraid of being alone,
and if I am,
when will I be able to come to grips with the idea that I am fearing the idea of being alone - when loneliness itself is not so detrimental?

This time in life sucks.
Especially when for 18 years you had someone holding your hand when shit hits the fan. Someone is not going to be there to hold you when you are in your moments of pain - you best realize that you alone are going to have to hold yourself, pick yourself, and also know that no one else in this world will make it through your entire life with you but yourself. So you might as well build a good relationship with yourself before anyone else, because it's an assured fact that the one person that's never going to leave you is yourself and your soul.

Anyway I'm done.
Just seeing the tension you two already have,
I would make a list of pros and cons and see if this relationship is actually making you more unhappy than it is helping.

haha and i thought I thought about relationships to much!

really though, astarte is right.

my advice: dont drink, dont smoke, lay low for the next few weeks and talk to your boyfriend when he gets back. if the situation can be changed for the better then more power to ya. if not, break up.