Useful Expressions for those High Stress Days

Well, aren't we just a ray of sunshine?
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet !!
Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
Earth is full. Go home.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
I plead contemporary insanity.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly .
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you

Smile, life is good and I live on a perfect world