Grrrrrr

Just found out last night that a good friend of mine who was dating my ex at the same time as me...tried to put the moves on my ex....I talked to him about it and he said he would stop. He just wanted to use her anyways....it makes me...really fucking angry...not just him, but her....why the fuck would she do this? I don't know...I...Thought I got her out of my god damned mind, dealt with issues...now this comes up and my fucking heart hurts again....oh, and my friend said that If i wanna be real spiteful I can pull the job she has right from under her....b/c she works for his aunt...I'm NOT spiteful, nor do I want revenge for what has happened...just answers to ease the pain and...dare I say...Drama...ugh...too much of both...I just don't know why she would be giving into his charm, and have the nerve to realize that I'm the guy that WANTS to take care of her. I want to be hers...ugh...Fuck it all..I just want to scream as loud as possible...to yell at them both, to tell them how much I hate them...help

Ack!

It tears at my heart seeing such young people in pain over a broken relationship. I hesitate to respond because the fear of sounding like the 'old mother hen'.

Screw that.

You've heard of the saying, 'time heals all right'? It's very true. A relationship can be like a drug. An addiction. You keep wanting more even if it isn't good for you.

It sounds like she wasn't the trustworthiest person to be with. Is this what you want? Is this what you deserve? Do you really want to take care of a person that is so callous to your needs? Are you in love with her or just the relationship?

I suggest you write a list of all the things this girl did that you didn't like. Understand and believe that if someone cares for you, they wouldn't have been so thoughtless. Even write down the little things that annoyed you. Did she flip her hair too much? Did she pull out her wedgies in public? Are you really going to miss these things?

Now, get rid of everything. Get rid of the letters, any gifts or memories. Delete her name from your AIM buddy list. You don't want to be on line, see her pop up and be wondering, 'Whom is she talking to.' In other words, don't contact her.

On the other hand, none of the above is going to mean squat if you feel you're willing to do anything to get her back. Just keep in mind, while you're spending so much time pondering on a girl that seems to be heartless, you could be moving forward meeting one that is compassionate and caring.

BTW, talking about it (message board), is very helpful in getting your frustration out.

I agree...talking here is the best thing I've ever done...met some awesome friends and such...I know to ignore her and everything she's doing....she's just soo much drama...that she creates...she whines over spilt milk when she had a full carton waiting for her...Yeah, I will get over her...I am somewhat over her...I'm looking for a new girl(not a rebound girl mind ya) just looking to have fun for a while...experience things that I haven't before...I do know that she might try to mend things with me...i.e...start the mind games and such up again...I've got to be careful, cause if she did let me come back to her...sad to say, I would go back to her...I'm just trying now to forget about what we had...i'm getting over it... i just hate how 'time' is the answer to everything in life...i just want things to hit me hard and fast, to get things out of the way early...eggghhhk...I must remain resolute and sound in my ways....your right, i need to just get away from things...

I know that when someone recently has a break up, the last thing they want to hear is how evil their partner was.

Only you and her know exactly what you had. Hopefully, you're both in agreement.

my heart pounded a little bit today...still haven't gotten rid of any of the stuff she gave me...its...nice...i should get rid of it...found out she got a new b/f...so thats why my heart pounded briefly...but, eh...it happens. time to move on!!
at least I think he's in Omaha, so I don't have to deal with seeing them togeather all the time...I am happy for her, she hopefully has dealt w/her personal probs. as for me...thats what it is now...me time.

Do you have panic attacks?

I want to share something with you. It's extremely cheesy, but hold some powerful meaning.

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
It isn't love, it's lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off??
It isn't love, it's luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there??
It isn't love, it's loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them??
It isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, its infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
It isn't love, it's friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of??
It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??
Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong??
Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??
Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??
Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?

This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

The best definition of love I've ever heard: "The condition in which another person's welfare and happiness becomes superior to your own."

--[Edit]--
It was written by Robert Heinlein.

Anchieses868, I think that is the most accurate definition I've ever heard.

My oldest son has married and divorced the same woman 3 times. Three times. She screws around and leaves. He divorces her. She comes back with a baby and he takes them in. She screws around and leaves him and the baby. He divorces her. She comes back with another baby and he takes them in. She screws around...get the TRUE picture here? We all make mistakes and our own pride wants to make it feel it really wasn't a mistake at all but just a 'blip' on the other person. If she doesn't know by now that you love her and want to take care of her then the problem was on your side in being unable to communicate with her. If she does know, then you have the hook baited and the fish shook it off rather than swallow it. Try for another fish that wants your bait.

Don't think that it's about you. What they have done is not about you doing something, it's about human greed, it's about desire, it's about "Me" , " I ". - from their point of view.

Just forget about it, don't play the what If game, just think about what you can do now, to make You feel better, what do you really want? can you get what you want? If you can not get what you want, then How could you fill this space with something as meaningfull?
Live your life to the fullest, make someone happy, learn from this experience, and make it work for you. Learn from this.