Wedding

Recently, I got engaged and we planned for the wedding to be on May 14 of next year. My fiance and I found out three days ago that my soon to be Mother in law wants us to change the date to acommodate her. His little sister is graduating in May and his mom says that she will be too busy to arrange the flowers like I asked her to. Btw, they're not even sure if she is going to graduate. They may not know until a month before graduation. I don't understand why his mom can't be working on the flowers for the next year and not waiting until the last minute.

Am I being selfish for wanting to keep the original date for the wedding, or should I change it to suit her. She wants it to be in June. I personally really want a Spring wedding...and June in Florida is very summery. It means a lot to me to have it on the date that we originally choose. You choose your wedding date because you like that one.

Should I appease her or stand my ground?

Congrats on your engagement Brit!!!

I too am getting married next year and I have found some similar situations. With me though it's been "Oh, I don't know if I will have the money to help you", this one from my father. All I wanted him to do was pay for my food which I have decided to go with finger foods as my wedding is July 16 next year, so I don't want to stuff my guests with food on a hot day. Another one was "I don't know if I can help pay for the material for your sisters dresses" this from my mother. Besides the sewing of my dress and 4 other dresses for my girls I've not asked for help from her till I asked if she could help pay for the material for the 2 sisters that still live at home. Everyone wanted me to make my wedding for 2005. I told them that I don't know what year yet but I'll let you know. We choose 2005 though so that we would be able to go on a decent honeymoon. My point is, keep the wedding date that you want. If your soon to be mother in law can't find the time in the next year to work on your flowers then see if you can find someone else that you would like to help you with your flowers. THIS IS YOUR DAY! Do it the way that you want to never mind what everyone else wants!

Em

Thanks. I think you're right.

I feel a bit differently about the sitch.
May 15 and June are sooooo close. These people are going to be your family FOREVER and EVER and EVER and EVER. (did I say FOREVER?) <<Well, it is FOREVER. This is such a simple thing. Waiting a couple of weeks isn't going to hurt anyone.
I mean it is your day.......I totally understand. But if this day isn't totally set in stone, with all of the deposits down and everything, I would just APPEASE (prob. sp error) them. Graduation is important... AS IS A MARRIAGE... but this is your soon to be Mother in Law. They just don't and won't understand something when their minds are set on something.

You could go ahead, do the wedding, and not have her be a part of it even though you might want her to. (and i am sure she wants to) OR just wait, look like the "good girl" (for both your fience' and her) and live happily ever after.

NOW........If you totally DISPISE her and really don't want her to have ANYTHING to do with your flowers at ALL.......... Keep the date.

Just my honest point of view.
Not that it means anything.

Just another p/o/v
A blessed weekend to you

We chose our wedding date for a specific reason. There were a lot of considerations done in choosing this date and we explained these to her. She was ok with the date until four days ago.
I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but they're not even sure if his sister is going to graduate. So, everything with her is going to be last minute. The wedding is not on the graduation date. The school she's at has NEVER had a graduation on a Saturday. (Which is when the wedding is.)
Plus, you said I should just appease her, well, my parents are planning on it being on the 14 of May. They're already starting the necesary preparations. So, basically, do I honor her wishes and get my family mad at me and me be unhappy, or do I go with what was originally planned?
Since they're not sure if she's graduating, I was going to propose that we get started on the flowers now, a year before. That way there is plenty of time and we're all not strapped for money. I'm even willing to pay for the flowers if she cannot afford it. I'm trying everything to bend over backwards to please us both.
I haven't submitted that early flowers suggestion to her yet because she's always asleep by the time my FH and I get to his house. We were gunna tell her about it tonight. If that doesn't work, I don't know what to do. Because I really had specific reasoning for choosing the date. Everyone does, which is why it is chosen.

If you are marrying someone again, I dont see what the big deal is about going all out.

Brit, you are marrying your man not the FAMILY. Do what is right for ya'll. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Life is to short to try to please everyone, or kiss ass for that matter. Are you going to let the motherinlaw to be make decisions like when you will have children, where you will live, etc....I sure hope not, but if so I would just get married and live with them.

Good Luck.

No, this both or our first weddings. You're right. My FH and I talked everything out for 3 hours last night. ANd worked through it all. So, everything is peachy keen now.

I'm glad to hear that all is ok now!

Lynnie, why can't a person go all out with a second marriage even if to the same guy? For me this is like a first marriage. Everything is better between me and my guy than they were the first time around. I never had my dream wedding the first time. Hand me down dress and just not the way I wanted it at all. This time we can afford to do what I would like and we are. I see no problem with a person going all out with a second marriage especially if things are better than they were the first time.

Em