Mixed Emotions/Open Your Mind - Page 2

I want to be able to step away from everything my parents, teachers, friends, and society has ever taught me and learn who I am. But I can't put everything away. A lot of what I have learned has become a part of me, so I can't think objectively. I don't think anyone can.

Mentally block memories of dead loved ones is a defense mechanism. It's hard to imagine that they're gone. That you won't see them laughing anymore. We sense each other in the physical world, so when the soul leaves a body, we can't sense it. We don't forget those who die, but because they're not physically present, we don't remember them as often. Sometimes, we try to forget them because it's too painful to remember them.

When I look at people, I tell myself that there's more to them than what they choose to show. A few times, I learn that there isn't. But there is usually someone you can relate to behind the façade.

My history professor told me that the fragmentation of labor is what makes us feel disconnected. Why do people in farming communities have closer relationships? Because they all have the same lives and routines. They all know the pain that the other is facing when working. They all know one another because their communities are small. There's nothing corrupt about what they're doing: surviving with your own sweat. There's no embezzling or cheating your way through life. Granted, it does happen in agrarian communities, but most people live honest lives.

Why do we care about what others think? No man is an island. Jon Donne in his poem 'Meditations' says that man is not an island, but part of a continent. We live in the same world and depend on each other for love and acceptance. If every stranger starts sneering at you, you'd have problems with that because you want to have good relations with strangers.

Why do we judge others? Several reasons- to understand them, to understand our relations with them, to categorize them for our own convenience.

Life is simple as a kid. But the things I've learned with age, both beautiful and ugly, have made me appreciate what I have and work harder for what I don't have. I've learned to really love others and this love motivates me to help them. But I still loved my childhood and would want to remain a child forever. Heck, I wish everyone can live carefree lives.

Rant rant rant rant rant rant. I'm just tired of having to organize my college essay that I've been laboring over the past seven months. I love organization, but I've had too much of it for the time being...