Chicks and Fake Phone numbers - Page 3

lmao@dani, our usual meeting place right?

Real funny guys, i think what Starlette is trying to say is, not that all guys are rapists or stalkers, just that she has had bad expiriences and would rather just avoiud it happening again.

In my opinion, if yoiu are not interested, let the guy down nicley, and keep chatting. you dont gotyta blow him off and then walk away. Or if your not comfortable enough to say no, just pull the old, " I have a boyfriend".

that seems much better then giving a fake number, but i guess if the guy is really messed up he wouldnt care about the boyfriend... its tough, but telling the truth may help a guy more than making up some BS or giving out a fake number so that they will go away.

i know i would appreciate some constructive criticism as opposed to being blown off.

Yeah, constructive criticism. Like "Get some plastic surgery."

No, I agree with you guys. Why give us false hope? That just makes it worse in the end.

You guys are missing the point. I'm not speaking for all women, I'm just speaking for a lot of them. I like to go out with the people I'm going out with. Just because you're attractive doesn't mean you go out to pick up guys or even look for guys. I don't go out to get hit on every five minutes. It's annoying!!! Do you not think that I have the same right to be left alone as anyone else does? Many guys don't pick up on this hint, or even when it's layed out for them. Telling a lot of guys you're not interested only gets you in the "fking slut" and "bitch" catagory all night. Being nice to a guy only gets you half stalked all night. Now don't get me wrong, there are guys who approach you very honestly and sincerely seem like nice guys. You can usually spot these kind though. Then when told the other person isn't interested, they take it like a man and say something like, well I just wanted to say that you are very pretty, and they walk away and leave you alone. However, there will always be those one's who just don't get it and they force you to be mean to get your point across.

Last weekend was a prime example of what we go through sometimes. I was out with some of my girl friends at this bar dancing, drinking, and having a good time when this guy comes up to us. Now we're all pretty good looking and I don't mean that in a conceited way at all. I'm just trying to let you know how this all went down. Two of my girls walk off to play some tunes on the jute box and the guy starts talking to me about one of my friends Bekka and is asking for her phone number. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Like I would really throw my friend to the wolves like that. I told him if he wanted any of their numbers he'd have to ask them. We all sit down and he buys us all a round of drinks. Which was very nice of him to do. He pays for the drinks and proceedes to ask Bekka and Dorothy for their phone numbers. He got the big "NO" we're not interested and started being a real d*ck. We were not mean to this guy at all, my girls honestly tried to let him down easy. He starts getting loud calling us "money whores" and "bitches" and then starts yelling at the bartender to give him back his money for the drinks he bought. The bartender, which I know really well, tells him that it's already been charged to his credit card and that he'd have to get the money back from us. We didn't ask for those drinks, and we weren't paying for them either. It came down to a bouncer having to throw this guy out of the bar and you know why? .........................................................................
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.................................................................... because he didn't get a phone number.

This is the kind of thing that happens when you try to be up front with some guys. Like I said, if you get a fakie, blame these arseholes. If we had given this guy a fake phone number this whole situation never would have happened. It wasted an hour and a half out of our night that we could have been having fun instead of dealing with a seemingly nice guy turned psycho arsehole. Believe it or not, these are the guys who determine how you are treated when you approach us. Not all guys are weirdos, but with guys like this out there who the hell would want to take that chance? If I can sense that the guy is genuinely nice then usually I talk to them to let them down if I'm not into it. But if they're the least bit 'ify" they get the old fakie routine. I think my girls learned a valuable lesson on fake numbers. To use them more often.

Oh my dear lord! This is the problem with society as a whole nowadays. First off, there are times that I will buy a guy a drink. Does that mean I'm expecting his number or expecting to get in his pants? No! All that means is I'm nice enough to buy you a drink while we talk. Nothing further. When I do things for people, regardless of what they are, I don't expect a damn thing in return for it. That way I'm also never let down. People today are just disgusting. To think that when you do things for people you're going to get it back is completely wrong. That's like saying that just because a guy buys a girl a meal, she owes him at least some head. That's f*cked up! Not to mention morally wrong. He offered to buy the drinks. We didn't ask him to. No one was even giving him the assumption or a single implication that any of us were going to give him our phone numbers. He just seemed like a alright guy. Turns out to be wrong, but whatever. Sometimes I buy people's dinners. Sometimes I buy a whole round of drinks for people. That in no way means I should get something for that. Nor should anyone else get anything for a gesture. Talk about being straightforward. Guys you tell us that you want something in return for a drink and see how many women respond to that well. Come on, talk about being up front. Try it sometime. Actually tell a girl, "hey I'll buy you a drink but I want at least something in return for it." No one with any self respect would go for that and definitely not me or anyone I know for that matter. I'll bet maybe one in five hundred would go "okay." And probably because she's a fking moron. I don't know about everyone else, but I'm not a prostitute let alone a cheap one. A drink doesn't buy you a number arsehole. Wake the f*ck up and realize that RESPECTABLE women can't be bought, won't sleep with you on the first date, won't suck your d*ck because you bought dinner, and won't give you the digits just because you bought a fking drink!

Starlette, if you don't want to give a guy your number and want to lie, tell him you have a boyfriend. Believe me, it's a lot easier on him. If he's nice, you did him a favor. If he's an ass and starts acting like one, tell the bouncer he's stalking you.

I think we're talking about different situations though. Obviously in some situations the guy deserves to feel like shit, so why not give him a fake, but as you implied you can't always tell a nice guy from an ass, so you have to have a general way of responding to both types. If you always give fakes, the times you gave it to a nice guy, you were the bitch, and you contributed to turning him into a bigger ass. The other times when the guy WAS an ass don't matter as much, because I don't think you could've done much to change him for the better or corrupt him. You have to find a middle ground, so you don't take it up the ass from the jerks, and you don't make the nice guys feel like shit either. I don't think it's that hard to be nice and be ready to strike back once the guy starts acting like a jerk, that's why I think giving fakes to nice guys happens much too frequently. There's definitely a better way to do it.

As for letting guys buy you drinks, I don't know the stats, but I'd venture to guess that guys buy you drinks more often than girls buy them for you. I certainly know that guys buy women drinks more often than they buy guys drinks, so there's definitely an opposite-sex attraction involved. I'm with Decius -- you shouldn't accept gifts in general from people who like you.

In your scenario, you knew the guy liked your friend, and still accepted the gift. The guy in your case was a royal ass, so it doesn't matter, but in a different scenario it would. I know girls who string guys along who like them, use them to fix furniture, doors, buy them stuff, etc. In all these situations the guy never explicitly states that he's doing it in exchange for sex or a relationship, etc, and the girl's attitude is the same as yours about the drinks -- he wants to be nice for the sake of being nice, why not let him. When questioned about it, she conjures up examples of when she helped other people, and how the guy is doing it because he's nice. The thing is, he's doing it because he thinks being nice to the girl and doing things for her will get her to like him. That's what he wants. It's not a bribe.. he just wants her to like him, meanwhile the girl takes advantage of it.

Obviously buying drinks for girls isn't as deeply emotionally rooted, but I think it runs along those similar lines. If a guy shows interest in a girl, tries to do nice things for her to win her over, and the whole time she knew he didn't have a chance because she thinks he's a tool, or she has a boyfriend, well dayuumm.

In light of all this, your example about buying drinks specifically to get some in return is interesting. If a girl told me she'd give me head for $5, I wouldn't go for it. But in a different circumstance, I'd spend a lot more time and effort than $5 worth, giving her the necessary attention to get with her. Saying you'll buy a girl a drink if she'll sleep with you is different from wanting her and buying her a drink hoping it'll happen.

Anyway, I'm disagreeing with a lot of what you said, Starlette. I hope you don't take it the wrong way. I have nothing against you, and I think you're nice for having a philosophy behind your action, and trying to do the right thing. It's just in my experiences, a lot of the seemingly sound and harmless choices you make are made by selfish bastards who don't care about how their actions affect others. Again, I don't think you're one of these people.

First off Decius, nothing I've said is irrelavant. He didn't ask for our numbers first then buy drinks. If that had happened then he would have found out right off the bat that he wasn't getting any. He bought us all drinks like he was being a gentlemen and then proceeded to ask for numbers. Almost as if buying a drink "ENTITLES" this guy to phone numbers. WELL IT DOESN"T!!! Your points are not valid. I have to say that when I go out, I buy my own damn drinks. Not to mention a lot of drinks for other people. I've been blessed with a good paying job. However, I've had lots of guys buy me a drink and not even ask for a phone number or anything. So, what does that say about jackass men out there who actually think they're going to get something from a drink or at least should? NOT MUCH. Most of my friends are men and matter of factly I've never heard a single one of them bitch because they didn't get a phone number or ass after buying a drink or even a meal. I'm the type that doesn't even kiss on the first date. Does that mean I'm some stuck up gold-digging bitch that knows that it's my job to do that after someone takes me out but decides to play prude? NO. That means I'm a woman of self respect and integrity.

Think4yours, saying you're with Decius doesn't make you look any better. THIS IS THE WHOLE THING: THE GUY BOUGHT THE DRINKS FIRST. WE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO TURN INTO AN ARSEHOLE. IF WE HAD KNOWN THAT HE WANTED SOMETHING IN RETURN, I PERSONALLY WOULD HAVE RATHER PAID THE SIX FKING BUCKS TO BUY MYSELF ANOTHER DRINK AS SUPPOSED TO DEALING WITH A FKING IDIOT THE REMAINDER OF THE NIGHT. The guy should have known anyway. He wasn't in the least bit attractive and not to sound mean but way out of his league. I guess too many drinks suddenly also entitles you to think you're fking Brad Pitt. I love incognizant and not to mention convoluted people and opinions. I shows me how truly blessed I am to actually have a working brain.

As far as the intentions go, I agree with you Think. As I have stated most of my friends are men. Why? Because I fking hate caddy ass girls. Too much drama. I do not believe in leading a guy on to get things from him. That's also fking wrong. I've never in my life gotten anything from a guy. Nothing. Some meals and that's about it. No jewelry, furniture, clothing, shoes, nothing. Everything I have I've paid for myself. Even greater than that is the fact that even when I'm in a relationship I pay for a lot of the meals, etc. I have been blind sided by one and didn't see it coming. Does that mean I should take that out and instantaneously turn into a greater bitch because of that? NO. I don't respect women who do shit like that. However, and this is the kicker: A good, honest, girl isn't going to take shit like that from a guy. Especially right off the bat. So, if you guys happen upon a girl that's letting you do things for her and buying things for her. GET A FKING CLUE! That's the tell tale sign that this bitch is in it for the money. On the other hand, just because you buy a drink doesn't mean you'll get anything for it, and respectively you shouldn't expect it.

Consequently, giving a guy the whole "I have a boyfriend" routine has never worked for me personally. I usually get back the whole "what does he have to do with us?" routine. I realize that this is not all guys. But a vast majority of them. I think maybe I get the lesser quality of guys because they take a look at me and think I haven't got a brain or any level of intelligence. I don't blame them though. Most good looking girls couldn't tell you who the vice president is let alone spot a shithead. Or maybe they just don't care. I don't know. In any event, I can argue all day long about morals, what's right, what's wrong and while most people talk out their asses, I'm bringing valid points and honest opinions to the table. I appreciate the debate. Think4yours, you're a competitor and you have some good ideas. Decius, you're easily over thrown about things you think you know. You've got a lot to learn.

I'm at work when I write these things so they're pretty scatter brained and fast typing. To continue what I was going to say. I'm not trying to be harsh to you Decius. My decision to tell this guy to ask my friend was the only right choice to make. I wasn't giving him her phone number and he was a pussy for asking me. Then he decides to buy eight girls a drink? Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I can understand why you'd misinterpret the story but let's think on that one. Okay let me get this right. I already laughed in this guys face, and in return he buys not only me a drink, but the one who's number he wants, and then six others? Does this sound weird to you? It definitely sounds weird to me. It's like he was trying to corner the market or some shit. EVEN THOUGH!, he knew he wasn't getting MY number.

So what was his objective? To be a weirdo arsehole! That's it! I've never in my life seen the shit that this guy pulled. This guy asked me for Bekka's number, not the other six. He should have bought just Bekka a drink then. Right, and not the other seven. I don't know why this guy thought that by buying eight girls a drink would give him a better chance at getting one number. And after that didn't happen he thought he'd try for two, then three, then four, then five, then six. It was pathetic! I guess he figured that if he bought eight drinks, he was bound to get at least one number. That's the risk you take. When it doesn't work out, you need to just say "Oh Well" and go on with your fking life.

I couldn't speak for my friend, and my friends can't speak for anyone else in the group. When he asked Bekka for her number, I didn't know if she would say yes or no. I had assumptions, but hey, you never know. When he asked for Dorothy's number, I didn't know if she would say yes or no. Then he went down the whole damn list and started getting desperate. He ended up with no phone numbers and a shitty ass attitude. NOT OUR FAULTS. Don't offer to buy eight girls a fking drink if you don't want to pay for them. Simple as that. We didn't intentionally say, "hey we'll let him buy us all a drink and we know that not a damn one of us is going to even give him a phone number." Seriously, If I had known, I would have bought the round. A hundred bucks isn't worth the aggrivation. I make that back in a few hours. Even if I didn't have the money it would have been a great investment.

I remember one time buying a round of drinks for like twelve guys from NYPD that came down from NY to Florida to play a football game. I can't exactly remember my intentions, but the only thing I can think of was just me being nice. I didn't ask for any of their numbers, I didn't want any of their numbers. Just to say like "good game" ya know. I never do anything that I don't want to do just because I think I'm going to get something for it. That's just people fked up in the head. This guy had some serious mental issues, and I'm 100% positive it isn't because he buys stuff and gets nothing from it. If this guy wasn't taking medication on top of his drinking, he should have been.

Maybe this is just a classic case of men, not understanding women, and vice versa. Women have their views and opinions and they completely boggle most men. On the flip side, women think men are idiots for not picking up the signals like they're supposed to be psychic and know what they're thinking. This could just be the case. Anyway, the guy was wrong not only once, twice, three, but four times in one night. Fact is, all of us girls thought that maybe one of the others were going to give this guy her number. The mistake was everyone thinking I'd be someone else. Well we all make mistakes. We're still not going to go into "review board" everytime a guy wants to buy a round just to see if one of us likes him to validate the gesture. That's just obsurd.

the way you first worded it Starlette, was that the guy asked you for your friends number and THEN you all sat down and he bought you drinks... you are switching your story around there.

if what you stated first off is the truth (which im pretty sure it is) then i am with Decius 100%

Actually Wyote, read it again buddy. "Our" numbers refers to plural. He didn't start asking for "our" numbers until after he had bought the drinks. He asked ME for BEKKA's number when he approached us. Which, come on, I wouldn't give him in a million years. I'm elaborating, not changing.

I think you're missing the point, Starlette. The bottom line is he did ask for someone's number *before* buying the drinks, thus giving away his intentions. I don't think anyone's saying you should have given your friend's number out, so I don't know why you're stressing that point.

Also, I don't think anyone's disputing that the guy was an asshole.

Think4yours, saying you're with Decius doesn't make you look any better.

I'm not trying to win a popularity contest by siding with Decius. Just saying that I agree with his statement.

Consequently, giving a guy the whole "I have a boyfriend" routine has never worked for me personally. I usually get back the whole "what does he have to do with us?" routine.

You can state the obvious: you love your boyfriend and it's important for you to stay faithful to him.

exactly, he did ask for a phone number before buying drinks, thus giving away his intentions beforehand.

still, nobody should expect something in return. but most people do.

Sorry guys, but if he wanted Bekka's number then he should have just bought Bekka a drink. The fact that he bought drinks at all did not give away his intentions. I would tend to think, as a lot of others would that I've asked, that if he wanted a phone number and that was his primary focus in spending money, he would have done it with the one person he was after. Not seven other people. If his sole intention was to get one number then why would he offer to pay for eight drinks? Fact is, five other people that he bought drinks for didn't even know him and as a matter of fact had never even seen him. Buying a drink isn't like buying a car for someone. It's a fking drink for gods sake!!! I think because I don't expect anything from anyone I'm doing anything for, I'm often blind sighted to the fact that other people are. Some people grow up with good old fashioned morals, and some crawl out of holes. Two things would have saved this whole disaster from happening: One, giving him a fake number. Two, he should have told us his intentions to begin with. Guys often bitch that women expect them to read their thoughts and just know what they're thinking. The exact same could be said the other way around. I obviously wasn't able to mind read this guys intentions and even though you guys say that there were signs, I apparently and seven other girls apparently didn't get it. WE CAN"T MIND READ! If you want something first for something you're going to do, don't manipulate us. Tell us what the fk it is you want and see if it's something you'd be able to get. That would save face on both parts. That way, we know going into it what we're in for, and the guy then knows if we're interested or not in what he has to offer. Like I stated. It was a fking drink, not a house, but in any event I still would have rather paid for the whole bars drinks than deal with this arsehole.