First off, I'd like to say that this situation you find yourself in is one that thousands and thousands of people find themselves in on a day to day basis. To me, praying and reading the bible doesn't mean that you have faith in God (although I am agnostic, and these principles that I live by might be questioned by you or others, this is my opinion). In my opinion, having faith in God is much more than going to church every Sunday morning or praying every night before you go to bed. I don't think that God sits up on his "throne" with a booklet keeping track of all the hours that you spent in church, all the times you're prayed to him, and all the times you've sinned. God is love. Nothing more, nothing less. Whether you are of Hindu, Jewish, Christian, or any other religious background, I believe that it is safe to say that you too believe in this statement.
It sounds to me that your faith in God began for all the wrong reasons. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to tell you that you have no faith, or that you are any less of a human being than I am. All I'm saying is that when one's faith in God is based off of answered prayers, there must be something wrong.
In order to help you answer your question, let me give you a bit of my background in order to help you farther understand the point that I'm trying to make. In my younger years, my family and I were all very devoted to God. Every Sunday we would go to church. Every night we would pray. We were devoted Christians. Then, one day, my Dad became very sick. Doctors gave him about a year to live. It was at this time in my life, that I completely lost faith in God. My faith just dropped like a damn bird from the sky. After all those years of reading the Bible and doing the good "Christian thing to do" and God decides to go after my family. After my Dad. This really struck home for me. God became my enemy, and I felt that I was his. It wasn't until about a year ago that I began reconnecting myself with faith. Only this time, I decided to go with my gut feeling on everything and keep an open mind for all the endless possibilities of religion. I remembered back in Sunday school how sometimes things just didn't feel right. Not everyting felt right. If God is love, then how could he do this? Why me? What have I or my family done to deserve this? Well, these answeres soon began to unveil themselves to me, except for in the form of another religion. My own religion. I became agnostic. My belief in God is solidated, although my knowledge of his existence and what he does isn't. I believe that there is a God out there somewhere. But there is no way that I can ever prove to you or any other person that God is real. It's just what I feel. I believe that a person's relationship with God truly is between him/herself and God. Going to church every morning and being told who my God is and what he stands for wasn't enough for me. I wanted something that I could truly believe in. And that I why I chose the road I'm following now.
Life is full of choices. Some of which you will live to regret, others you will be happy to look back on and say that you were part of. But one choice that a person should not regret the slightest bit is their religion. You need to go with what feels right inside. Go with your gut feeling. Whether that gut feeling is your true faith in God or that you simply don't think he exists, you need to go and search for the information yourself. Whether it be religious scripture, information brought to you by people on forums, or historical documents of some sort. You need to unravel you're own belief. It's hard to really truly believe in something if your gut feeling is telling you that something just doesn't feel right.
Me and you are both quite young, and I know that we both still have very much to learn from life, religion, and our friends and family, but theres no point in waiting until the last minute to figure out where you stand with a topic as crucial as religion. Take the information people are openly giving you from this forum and take the time to do your own research. There are many different possible "characters", if you will, that God could be. So be sure to keep an open mind to all the endless possibilities when learning about yourself and the religion that feels right to you. Open mindedness is the key to knowledge.
Goodluck to you! I hope you find what your looking for.
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70yrs • M • 
