When is it OK to say "I Love You"? - Page 2

I am not sure what planet you live on.

If a girl asked you, "Do you think I look fat?" and you actually told her, girl you do not look fat you look fucking huge! She would cry her eyes out. You tell her she looks good so she feels good about herself. It does not have to be the truth because if you told her the truth you would be an asshole for making her feel bad about herself.

This is the same situation, "With the do you love me?" question. You say yes to make her feel good. if you say no she is going to cry her eyes out. I know you should not lead people on but you should also not deny people to be with you. I think this more applies if you are a guy.

When is it ok to say I love you?

WHEN YOU TRULY LOVE THE PERSON YOURE WITH.

There is no time limit; there is no too early, or too late. There is no pressure. There is no lying. There is no trying not to hurt your partner. There is no anything to consider if you truly love someone.

If after alot of soul searching you decide that you truly love someone tell them. Its just a matter of knowing for sure that you love them. I feel so many people cheapen the word love by saying it when they dont really feel it.

The whole point in having a long term relationship is to fall in love and have a happy life with them.

Why shouldn't you let them know your feelings?

Having said this I would also like to point out that you shouldn't tell someone you love them until you are absolutely sure you do.

This is the hard part. Knowing you really are in love.

Especially for young people, who are new to relationships. They expect to find love straight away. This leads to people saying "I love you" when they dont truly love someone. Its more being in lust, or being infatuated. The number of CC members who have told stories about falling for somebody who turned out to be a total creep after a short time proves this.

How to avoid this?

Don't try to fall in love for the sake of being in love. You will only end up hurting the other person and yourself.

If a girl (or guy) is asking you if you love them after just a few months, then chances are they are in love with the idea of being in love- not actually in love with you.

Avoid being blinded by infatuation.

Take your time with someone and just let a relationship flow. Try not to let lust rule it as it can easily make you think you love that person. Try not to let infatuation at being with someone new take over, as this will do the same thing. Both lust and infatuation are what first occurs when you enter a new relationship and they are often mistaken for love.

They will also mask a persons faults and make you blind to the fact you may not be suited to them. And once the lust or infatuation wears off you will look at your partner and say "What did I ever see in that person?"
Sound familiar?

How can you tell if its true love?

I would say to be sure its true love, let at least a year go by and see if your feelings are exactly the same as when you first met them.
If that head over heels feeling is stronger and your time together has made you closer and more bonded then you most probably are in love.

It would be then a good time to tell the other person you love them. And it doesn't have to be when they ask you. Make it one of those romantic, bonding moments when the time is just right and it comes naturally.

Im sure the reward for waiting till you know its true love will make the time all the more sweeter.

Jacker, you say that girls think youre a pussy if you tell them you love them.

But I say youre a pussy if you dont have the guts to be brave, stand up for your beliefs and tell the truth. Having to lie about something as important as this is a sign of your insecurity towards women and wether they will still like you if youre open about your true feelings.

Im not putting you down, but from what you have said, I think perhaps you lack tact and the ability to articulate yourself and your feelings.

No, you dont tell a woman she is an elephant if she asks you if you think she is fat. There is such a thing as a white lie. I hate lying to any degree, but small manipulation of the truth when its for a good reason is needed sometimes.

So just as you can tell a woman you dont think she is fat in a tactful way- you can easily tell her you dont love her without hurting her feelings. Its all about your ability at communication.

Do you HAVE to be in love with a woman when you first start going out with her? Love is something that grows. It doesn't happen straight away. And if you feel love straight away its most probably infatuation or lust. Only after a lengthy amount of time with another person can you be CERTAIN its love.

And if youre with a woman for over a year and you still dont love her- despite telling her you do, you shouldn't be wasting your time and should find someone you do love.

But Im getting the impression you tend to go for women who are insecure and want you to say you love them to make them feel good about themselves- and they want you to instantly love them.

This is your choice of who you go out with. But lying to them to get what you want is despicable.

Especially when its something as major as love.

The saying "will you still love me in the morning" hasn't become a saying for nothing. Men will say and do anything to sleep with a woman and then once they have conquered her they dont have any feelings of love whatsoever.

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They will also mask a persons faults and make you blind to the fact you may not be suited to them. And once the lust or infatuation wears off you will look at your partner and say "What did I ever see in that person?"
Sound familiar?

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this exact thing happened to me.but with experience comes wisdom.i know better now.

If a girl asks you if you love her? If you say yes you are pretty much guaranteed pussy. If you say no your left with nothing. No matter how you feel the smart answer is yes. I do not see how trying to score pussy would make you a coward.

If you do love a girl and you tell her randomly she will think you are a pussy. She will try and walk all over you most notably if she does not feel the same way.

You may ask what is the point in being in a relationship if there is no love. Relationships are not just about being in love. Some relationships are about fun. Others are just about friendship. Some are for convenience.

People should be on the same page of what is going on in the relationship but, that sometimes does not happen and that is when feelings get hurt. At the start it is easy to stay on the same page. Over time it becomes increasingly more and more difficult. I would say it gets more difficult because more and more emotion gets dragged into the picture.

This would be how I justify lying to women. I did not get off track in what the relationship was about. All I'm doing is keeping the relationship on track. Sex for fun